I May Return Soon :)

Mar 16, 201216 min read

Deviation Actions

Published: Mar 16, 2012

3.1K Views

I may return soon

My computer may get to be finally looked at by a professional soon. So I'm bound to be returning soon.

Hope everyone had a good Valentine's Day; I REALLY wanted to try & draw a nice Valentine's gift for those who enjoy my art. But that has been delayed unfortunately, oh well better late than never.

The idea though is still remembered quite well in my mind… I won't give it all away, but let's just say that it involves me, Stella, a rosebush, & Stella Two (you know… the clone of the AU Zoomorphized Stella brought into a cannon like setting thanks to Irken Technology). Let's just say, I'm extremely fond of breaking the fourth wall… speaking of which, I bet a certain someone who suggested therapy to me may want to approach Seth Macfarlane as well for voice acting at least three of the main characters on his show Family Guy. *rolls eyes sarcastically* Well, okay none on them are literally a Cartoon version of Seth himself… unless Brian Griffin counts since his "default voice" is pretty much Brian's voice as well. But still, I see it to be NO DIFFERENT for me to interact with my roleplays in such a way, than for Brain, Peter, or Stewie Griffin to converse with each other. Plus keep in mind Stella (nor any far cries from cannon derived from her) isn't even half as popular as Helga Pataki, so naturally she isn't likely to get many asks from someone besides me & my other rps; and if you don't like that or the fact that I consider forms of matter besides human beings alone as persons & have a meaningful relationship (of an imaginative nature or otherwise) with plush, plastic or yarn woven folk as well as those who are animate on their own or at least alive in a physical & biological sense then lump it for f*ck off! Pardon my crassness, but if being "normal" means changing my whole perspective on certain things, then screw being "normal"! I find it quite rude for the human race to think it's so special just because of it's morbid level of dependence upon it's own technology for survival, ability to sh*t in a toilet, & is not legally allowed to be nude in public! & I find it kinda rude to say something isn't "real" even though it's detectable by at least one of the five senses & has an impact on someone's life. I'm fully aware that my Stella doll & her family are merely dolls crafted in the likeness of fictional characters, however they are real in the sense that it's possible to taste, touch, smell, see, and even hear them ( they may not be capable of vocalizing on their own, but if they were to be dropped they would make a small thud)!

That's almost like saying the Twin Towers weren't real because they were built (& destroyed

) by humans rather than growing from the ground up like a tree. I mean sure a cardboard replica isn't an actual skyscraper, merely an object created in the likeness of a different object known as a skyscraper… just like my Stella doll's Daughter Isabelle is merely an object created in the likeness of a human being rather than an object known as an actual human being… keep in mind, my definition of a person isn't just members of the human race, but also other forms of matter too, & if you still don't like that then lump it or f*ck off! *sticks up both of my middle fingers to show how strongly I feel about this* Forget "one race human", it's "one race: MATTER" in my eyes… though still it doesn't hurt to keep some common sense when appropriate (ie. Wild animals don't tend to take it well if you try to hug them, piles of crap aren't unsanitary on purpose but keep your distance or wear what you need to dispose of it, & literally beating a dead horse is not only inhumane & pointless but also disrespectful to the dead, etc.)

I guess I didn't have to be so rude about it, but I just wanted to make it clear that I KNOW the difference between fiction & non-fiction as well as the difference between actual objects (such as human beings) & objects that are merely created in the likeness of other objects (such as plush or plastic replicas of human beings). I just don't think it should be such a big stupid deal that I consider them friends as well… this is an era where homosexuals can get married & little boys can play princess with little to no fear of being teased by other little boys and you dare to question a grown woman having a spiritual closeness to her "plush & plastic friends & family"?! There are some collectors out there who refer to their toys as their "babies" so I don't see why I should not consider them family. I feel very close to them, I grew up around many of them, & I love them dearly (& whether they actually do love me back or not is between them & whomever the real god is, if there actually is a god). Before you p*$$ me off & nearly f*cking kill me with morbid rage by saying "they're just toys! They have no minds!" (My reaction: "well you're just a human being! you can't think for yourself because you follow the crowd! F*CK OFF!" ), there are even slime molds that don't even have the organs for cognitive activity & they have the intelligence to find their way through a maze (according to television tropes & idioms under "REAL LIFE EXAMPLES"! YES! Even a slime mold without an actual brain has cognitive activity! & it's non-fiction mind you!)! "There have been studies showing that slime moulds can navigate mazes. Now, obviously, they don't have brains so they can't be intelligent in the way we understand it, but that just means it might be time to completely rethink our concept of intelligence." - tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php…

For those who are new to my journals they frequently consist of b*tching in case you haven't noticed. I can get pretty p*$$ed… but hopefully never as p*$$ed again as I was when I hurt a dear friend emotionally for unintentionally hurting me. I was & still am quite upset about it off an on, but I'm sure I'll heal… just hope that the one I hurt can & will heal. As I've said previously I hope I never feel that angry again. I'm sorry if I offend you guys for seeming like I'm the bad kinda crazy, if I word things in a way that's long & complicated, or even insult some of your intelligence for not reading the info on my art (It's not just for sh*ts & giggles though), or some other fourth thing I may have forgotten. But I'm still gonna stand up for what I believe in even if you guys look at me as if I done went mental. I shouldn't of let his / her words get to me but they did & hard. Not enough to bend over backwards & kiss his her @$$ over it, but actually nearly the opposite. But whether or not I go to therapy someday is MY decision! Plus I have taken psychology before in high school, but I'm not claiming to be a professional because of it… it was only the tip of the metaphorical iceberg. I'm bound to be studying psychology further someday in college… the inner workings of the mind can & will be quite intriguing… funny thing is, I read on Wikipedia that most kids see their plush & plastic companions as extensions of their parents… I find that difficult to understand myself… I've seen my toys as completely separate individuals from my parents or from whom ever gave them to me… so I always thought it was absurd to give them away because you had a pretty bad fight with them.

something tells me that's not typical (not associating a plush or plastic individual with whom ever gave him or her to you rather than just the object they were created in the likeness of or both the giver & the actual object that inspired the toy)… I don't think any amount of therapy could help me make sense of that or why human beings think they are better than everyone else, the most important form of matter, or wish to stay the only form of matter referred to as "persons"… it's just a mind set I've had for a long time… sure I can understand how individual human beings are so "special"… but not the entire race as a whole… I don't know… I may be using the wrong words for what's in my mind… I guess what I mean is that I don't exactly know what the big fuss is about being A human… & the whole (insert deity) created man in it's image thing just never made sense to me… to me it just sounds like humanity is worshipping itself & sees itself as an earthly god.

After all, even clones or those who seem like clones can have some level of individuality. I have plenty of even manufactured examples of non-human individuality.

I personally just see everything to be special (even if doesn't always seem that way). I know very well what I'm trying to get across… I just don't know if I'm using the right words or even what the words are for it. My mind can seem like a bit of an arbitrary mess… but it's ALL intertwined somehow. Like Snookie becoming a mother or Davey Jones' death (R.I.P.

), they seem completely irrelevant, but both occured this year. I plan on informing my roleplays of this & their reactions would be for entertainment purposes as always.

Even though Abner & Stella's anonymous asks are disabled, I may reconsider whether or not to enable them if there was enough demand… I think at least four votes from four separate persons (human or non-human don't matter to me) that aren't the same user (though three votes from separate users & a fourth from a different account but one of the same user may still count to me) sounds fair… but for Evil Stella, Angel Stella, & Stella Two, I'd rather wait until they become more widely known because they may frequently have to say, "I think you may have me confused with cannon Stella (insert redirect link here). XD". Though whether it would start funny & become irritating or start irritating & become funny is uncertain, but it would be a nice change of pace for me or my roleplays having someone to talk to besides each other every so often. But unless the questions became quite numerous & hard to handle, I'd still do the "question of the week" that I'd ask each of my roleplays for the entertainment of their watchers as well as myself once a week. Personally, I think what someone has to say is more important than what that someone is that's saying it. Like I said, I don't see a difference between me & my own roleplay(s) "talking with 'each other'" & voice actors that voice characters that frequently converse with each other.

It's for entertainment purposes & I am aware that Stella & other characters like her in film & on television as well as other media are merely lovely works of fiction, I never said that she fully exists in what we have come to know as reality as far as we know. Though there is an extremely small possibility of alternate universes out there & in one or even several, for all we know, what WE have come to know as reality could be merely a work of fiction for another universe… boy howdy! science sure can & will be an epic mind screw huh? (rhetorical question)

So a little heads up there guys, I may ask some of you on Tumblr if you're interested in enabling anonymous asks for Abner & Semi Cannon Stella soon. But Stella Two, Angel Stella, & Evil Stella aren't getting them until they are more well known unless more than four votes are given for that as well.

That's all I have to say for now, but boy that was sure long! I wonder if anyone would even bother to read this.

Yes I've noticed my journals are that long. XD little Issie will soon be turning four months old already.

Feels like it was just yesterday that I noticed that little bump under my Stella doll's bandanna… speaking of which, I bet you guys are curious about how I managed to make her belly appear pregnant… well I may see if my Stella doll may be willing to model for some photos for you guys

, though I'm bound to show

first with a little help from dA's Sta.sh. & I guess you could also say that I treat all of my "plush & Plastic companions" with gentle love dignity & respect because I assume that would be how I'd probably want to be treated if I were plush or plastic. & during my Stella doll's pregnancy, Well normally pregnancy should be serious business as well as what is bound to follow it (just hope Snookie will take her own impending motherhood seriously as well). Plus through seeing Stella pregnant in cannon in "The Journal" has shown me the beauty of new life. & I guess that seeing them as dolls lying quite closely together one morning with their underpants down inspired me to bless my Miles & Stella dolls with a new little bundle in a way like that of an actual human's pregnancy… but in plush. Of course, I think my Stella doll is content with two human doll children, Abner & her hubby, so she's "Very sure" that she's through having children by means of plush "biology". So it may not rule out adoption, but still I bet Issie could be quite a handful for her mother & father… okay maybe adoption might be ruled out for them too. But other plushies or even plastic figures may be blessed as well with little ones of their own too someday.

See you guys soon.

I'm bound to have quite a lot of catching up to do since I've been gone. Haven't checked even my dA messages yet since quite some time. You have no idea how offended I was by a certain someone's words at the time… or how upset I got at myself for being so rude to him / her even though he / she tried avoiding to give me emotional pain… I could barely bare to watch 90's Are All That… yeah I was that upset, I shouldn't of let it lose my one rating all this time.

I'm still emotionally sore off an' on but over all, I'm feeling better for now. Though I have a feeling it could come back to haunt me like my other unpleasant memories. & believe it or not, after going to Fry's a while back earlier this month, I feel a bit closer with my parents (believe me, I need to quit b*tching about them so much) as well as my "Plush & Plastic friends & Family".